Rejecting The Lie Our Culture Tells Us

I had a dream once in which an enormous tree grew out of an island in the middle of my kitchen. Its leaves were green and its fruit so big they’d require two arms to carry. There were many people in my kitchen. The leaves of the giant tree limbs covered them. I was taken aback by the idea that a tree could grow in my kitchen. It certainly wasn’t practical. It seemed to be in the way.

It’s been years since that dream and it never leaves me. The mammoth fruit hanging from the branches told a story- one I didn’t understand.


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I believe our culture sell us an idea of what a successful woman, wife, and mother looks like. These “ideas” take me farther and farther away from my home. And while the picture looks great, enticing even with its panoramic views, deep inside I sense the deception of its offer.

I heard a woman once say, “I believe you can have it all, I really do!” She looked so polished and put together. She was an influential speaker and writer. She was married and mothered two small boys. From the outside looking in, she looked the part. She seemed quite successful.

I wanted that… I, too, wanted to “have it all”. Yet in my life, it hasn’t looked that way. I’ve had many obstacles, disappointments, and setbacks. Many times I found myself gasping for breath, fearing one more blow would be the end of me. In my stumbling- one step forward, two steps backwards- I found I can’t have everything all at once. I can’t pursue it all without sacrificing, or at least neglecting, something else.

I found myself discontented, angry, and sometimes bitter when I couldn’t manage it all. It was discouraging to think ‘this’ was the best I could do. It was disheartening to think God forgot about me. Perhaps His favor and blessing was not upon me like it was upon these ‘super women’.

* * *

As time passes, I hear the true stories behind these seemingly successful stories…

Women burnt out-

Women who don’t have time for their children-

Women neglecting their marriages-

Women burdened with the inability to manage their homes-

Women exhausted, roaming around, pursuing dreams that leave them wanting and lacking.

I stand on the outskirts quietly looking in and I’m sure that’s not what I want for my life. If this is the true picture of a‘super woman’, then I don’t want it.

Yet choosing to be small in this season, because I believe I am exactly where God wants me to be, is a choice I have to recommit to daily. It’s a choice that many times leaves me little to “show”. It’s a choice that I hang on to by faith believing that though it doesn’t “show” much now, these seeds will produce good fruit in due season.

The battle of my soul is fought in trusting the truths and principles of God’s kingdom. Though I’ve many times come up battered and bloodied on the battle field, I’m renouncing the deception of this age which removes women from their immediate sphere of influence promising that what they find “out there” is of more importance and value and that it will satisfy.


I don’t believe the lie. Sometimes it gets lonely on this side. Sometimes it’s a long journey without another sojourner in sight. Yet it’s a journey I’m willing to take because I don’t believe this world will be able to deliver the product they so eagerly advertise. I don’t think you can have it all, at least not all at once.

In 10-20 years from now, I believe we’ll all hear the reality from these ‘super women’- the sad realization that at the other end of their pursuit, they came out empty-handed.

In the meantime I must believe that if I do not get weary in doing “good”, I will see my reward. In 10-20 years I pray I can look back and see that daily sowing at home first will reap great, lasting results.

I’m putting my faith in God. I’m believing He is good and He’s good over my life. I’m believing that His favor is here. It rests upon me. I’m believing we are blessed and I’m walking in that blessing every single day. I’m rejecting the lie this culture sells us, ya’ll. And that dream of the enormous tree with its colossal fruit… yeah, I’m believing I will one day see it growing out of our home!

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© 2016 Darlene Collazo | {In Pursuit} My Quest


  1. Tenika says:

    I believe it too… God bless you and your family Darlene. Once you know his love, nothing can measure up too it! It is everything!

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