InPursuit

{Revolutionary Women}: Up In Flames, Nothing But Ashes -Part 3

Join us for our series {Revolutionary Women} Touched By Jesus, Resulting In Radical Change.

You can go back and read all the posts in this series: 

{Revolutionary Women} Touched By Jesus Resulting In Radical Change -Part 1

{Revolutionary Women}: The Confrontation -Part 2

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October 26th, 2010 changed my life.

My masquerade came to an end as I sat across the street on my neighbor’s front steps. It was surreal. The air was chilly. My daughter, sat with bare feet crying on my lap. My son just looked at me in unbelief. And the three of us, we watched as our home filled with smoke.  Neighbors ran outside, summoned by the deafening sounds of the fire engine sirens. Firemen ran into my house.

Funny huh? Me. The Homeowner. Outside. Across the street. On Someone else’s porch.

While strangers ran into my home breaking windows, firing hoses, crashing doors down.

I sat there. Numb. In shock. A neighbor handed me two pairs of socks to cover my children’s feet. And another sweet lady handed me a navy blue, cotton jacket. They searched my face, yet I was completely blank. I was shaken out of my trance by the shattering of glass coming from my daughter’s second-story bedroom window. And as the smoke poured out of her bedroom, everything inside me poured out with it. I cried. This could not be happening. This could not be happening to me…

I am thankful for the protection of God that day in October. I am thankful that my children and I got out of the house in time. I am thankful that we were all downstairs when the fire happened.

But I was not ready for what was to come.

UP IN FLAMES, NOTHING BUT ASHES

After putting the fire out, the firemen allowed us to go back into the house to grab our insurance papers and valuables.

You would not believe this, but I ran upstairs to my bedroom which was covered with soot, ashes, broken glass, and water, and instead of looking for valuables, I was looking at my mess. I began to grab piles of laundry I had never put away and I began to stuff them in the bins. It didn’t matter that the clothes were completely ruined. I just wanted to hide the mess.

And down in the living room the mess continued.

And I walked into my dining room with anxiety sitting on my chest like a 10-ton elephant. My eyes darted across the dining room table to the window where piles of boxes and bins, files and paperwork… all of it lay there never attended to, never put away.

All I wanted to do was hide my mess. All I wanted to do was hide my stuff.

How foolish. In the middle of chaos. In the middle of a crisis- situation, I was still trying to hide my mess. 

NOTHING LEFT BUT REALITY

Soon enough the firemen left the scene. My sister took our children with her for the night. Concerned neighbors went back into their cozy little homes.The Red Cross agents put their paperwork away, handed us some emergency kits and walked out our door. And my husband and I were left there standing in the ashes.

We walked away from our house that night to the sound of the last board going up over the windows and door. With $25 in our bank account and the clothes on our backs we got into our car. We drove to a hotel which was paid, courtesy of the Red Cross for the night.

I looked at myself in the mirror on the way to the shower. I was unrecognizable. My face was covered with black soot. I didn’t recognize the girl in the mirror. Her tear-stained dirty cheeks and empty eyes were quite a horror to look at.

October 26th, 2010 changed my life.

We lived in a hotel suite for four long months. I hit rock bottom. I was going through several losses in my life and our house fire threw me off the edge. I fell into a deep and severe depression. I felt abandoned by God. I felt misunderstood by people. I felt ashamed of where I was.

THIS was my life?!!!

I was grieving. Life, as I had lifted it up to be, had gone up in flames and nothing but ashes remained.

SO WHERE DO YOU GO WHEN GOD EXPOSES YOU?

God had exposed my chaos. The disorder in my home was simply an outward reflection of all the chaos going on inside. And unlike that day when I was engaged and got into that argument with my then fiancé, God was not going to allow me to remain  there. This time, I had nowhere to run to.

I was broken and I was now ready to receive a touch of Jesus. Join me tomorrow as I share with you how one touch from Jesus radically changed my life.

My friend, if He did it for me, He can certainly do it for you.

We are {Revolutionary Women}, His touch results in radical change!!

Sending my love-

Darlene

[Read more…{Revolutionary Women}: The Confrontation -Part 4]

 

© 2016 Darlene Collazo | {In Pursuit} My Quest

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