InPursuit

Walking With Him & Being Known By Him {Yeah, This Is Greatness}

My Sheep Hear My Voice
I used to think God had ‘great BIG plans’ for my life. I used to think about greatness like a ladder you climb. The more greatness, the higher the places you’ll go. I had a warped view of what it looked like to be used of God. I imagined ‘greatness’ and ‘big’ things for God revolved around a platform, around ‘anointed’ people. I thought I had to ‘rub elbows with the anointed ones’ and be ‘connected and aligned’ with man-made visions in order to be right with God.

And in my heart, I honestly thought I was loving and serving God to the best of my ability.

Then something happened five years ago. God, in His goodness and mercy, kept me and continued to lead me in truth–in so much patience. He knew my heart for Him and for the Body of Christ. He knew my desire to grow, to learn, and to walk in His will. In October 2010, my life changed, not at the altar in a church (though I know beautiful things happen there, too!), but on the bathroom floor of a hotel suite.

We had a house fire and spent 4 long months in a hotel suite. I was 29-years-old and I was grieving so many losses. One night I found myself laying on the cold, tiled bathroom floor. A cry from the deepest part of my soul came flooding through the dam of numbness surrounding my wounded and shattered heart. That cry was accompanied by groans and heavy heaving, almost as though deep, hidden, pain-filled emotions were bursting and fighting their way to the surface. I cried until I had no tears left. A cry without any words, yet one that spoke of the cavernous brokenness within.

There, in that place–in the quiet, on that cold, tiled floor… God taught me a lesson so great, it changed the trajectory of my life.

I felt Jesus speak to my heart, “Why won’t you let Me sit here with you? We don’t even have to talk about it. I just want to sit here with you.”

And I lay there, head throbbing from all the crying. My breathing settling as His peace and love overcame me.

Jesus loves me.

Jesus isn’t intimidated by my questions.

Jesus is not put off my messy emotions.

Jesus is not looking for me to do one. more. thing. before I’m ‘good enough’ to do something ‘great’ with.

Jesus wants to talk and walk with me.

Jesus is not offended by my grief.

Jesus sees.

Jesus cares.

Jesus knows.

Jesus wants to sit with me.

Jesus accepts me.

Jesus approves of me.

That’s it. That’s what changed my life. So simple, eh?!

Here’s the thing. When heaven opens up to you and the approval of heaven is over you, the approval of man does not move you the way it used to.

When heaven smiles upon you and Jesus sits with you, you’re no longer so needy for men of position to see you, know you, accept you, and seat you at their tables.

When you’re connected to the Vine, every other connection loses its luster… you have all you need. Abundance. Overflow. Good Fruit.

When you realize He already loved you so much, He gave his life for you, yeah… everything else pales and opaques in comparison.

When you realize your anointing comes from the Anointed One and it’s not so much for the ‘greatness’ in you, but for His greatness to be revealed…your light always shining that they may glorify your Father in heaven (Mt. 5:16)… yeah, you’re longer so concerned with climbing ladders and platforms. Because you know greatness looks more like coming down lower and lower, walking in humility and ridding ourselves of pride and arrogance which hinders the message of the gospel from doing what it’s supposed to do… point others to Jesus.

When God meets you on the cold, tiled floor of your bathroom and breathes life and hope, and love and supernatural grace over your weary, broken, heart… you learn He’s interested in the one sheep in front of Him, more than He’s interested in the masses. Words hidden in John 10:27 jump to life, My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.”

We hear His voice.

He knows us.

And walking in the security and settledness that comes upon a heart that is known

we follow Him.

We learn to serve the Body of Christ, his church, his people, out of a deep desire to love and to pour out from the generosity He’s so lavishly poured upon us. We learn that when we walk with Jesus, ministry happens everywhere we go. We learn to pray for our leaders, and pray for the people. We learn compassion. We learn empathy. We learn to point others to the Source. We learn what true, pure, and unadulterated fellowship looks like.

We learn to have grace and compassion on those who’ve wounded us. We forgive and extend mercy the way God’s done to us. We let go of grudges and expectations we’ve held others to. We learn to set ourselves apart from the actions of others, understanding they have their own process to go through. We’re okay with standing steadfast on what God’s asked us to do, even when others may not understand. We choose unity. We choose harmony. We choose peace. We start to put our dreams and agendas away and we begin to ask God ‘What is on Your heart? What are Your dreams for me?’ and then… then we actually walk those out instead.

And there’s joy. There’s peace. There’s great freedom. We become comfortable in our own skin. We don’t serve because we have to. We serve because we GET to! Serving Christ loses its drudgery and we’re filled with life and vitality. We’re filled with contagious faith, holy influence, and God-given passion. We’re filled with love.

Ahhh, walking with Jesus and being known by Him… especially in the hidden places… now that’s greatness! (Everything else… and any ‘big’ thing… is just an added benefit!). 

 

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© 2016 Darlene Collazo | {In Pursuit} My Quest

Comments

  1. Laundette Jones says:

    Wow Darlene!! You said so many profound thoughts!! God has/is using your life as a living testimony and I am thankful for your humbleness to share with others along your journey. There is great freedom in becoming comfortable in your own skin. As I’m sure you know oh so well, being comfortable does come with a cost…..a cost of dying to self and saying yes to God. This is never easy, as I am learning, but the rewards of taking the steps to walk with Jesus and allowing Him to know you is truly AWESOME! Thanks for your witness and Big Hug to you!

    • Thank you for your encouraging words, Laundette. I loved what you said, “the rewards of taking the steps to walk with Jesus and allowing Him to know you is truly AWESOME!” We tend to forget there are rewards for our faithfulness, eh? May He continue to unite our hearts to fear His name, putting in us a desire to love Him with all our heart, mind, and soul! <3

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